"I am healthier and happier than I’ve ever been. And I feel closer to God than I have in years. This acceptance I have found from Christians has been life-changing for myself and my faith."

Dear President Taylor,

I graduated in 2014 and am one of the many students who have come out as LGBTQ+ since leaving Samford. I adored Samford and really made the most of it: three time Step Sing director, Senior RA, sorority executive council, SGA Senate Secretary, Entre Nous Yearbook staff, Samford Recruitment Team, senior class Homecoming court representative, and more. I have chosen to pursue a career in Christian higher education and student affairs because of how much I loved and was impacted by my time at Samford.

Despite how much I loved Samford, I also had a large challenge I faced while I was there. I realized in college that I experienced same-sex attraction. Having grown up in the church in the South then coming to Samford, everything I had ever encountered told me how wrong and sinful it was for me to have this attraction. I was horrified at myself. I went to Summer Beach Project with CO and tried to heal from my same-sex attraction. I started seeing a Christian therapist who helped me try to heal from this too. I prayed more, read my Bible more, and sought my relationship with Jesus more. And ultimately this attraction did not go away. I hated myself for it. The people I chose to trust with this information at Samford processed it with me as a sin struggle I needed to fight, which is how I viewed it myself. I dealt with anxiety in new ways that I had never experienced, and I began to struggle with depression.

My struggle continued into my time in graduate school at Baylor. I got to the point I felt completely hopeless. I had tried for years to fight my same-sex attraction and be a good Christian, and it was still there. I felt like I would never be healed from this, and it was tortuous to me. I began considering suicide and even got to the point of making a plan. I am thankful that I did not carry it through, but this dirtiness, depression, and anxiety I felt related to my sexuality haunted me for years after. I began to lose hope that God was able to heal me and started to distance myself from my faith.

It took me coming to work at another Christian university to finally start to process this differently. I began relooking at theology. I know plenty of others have sent you letters detailing theological cases for same-sex inclusion, so I am focusing on my personal experience. I came to an affirming theological viewpoint after study with ministers and peers. And once I accepted that theology, I began considering what that meant for me and my “sin struggle” I had wrestled with over the years. I believe God made me this way, and I now identify as bisexual. Embracing that part of my identity has been the most freeing thing I have ever experienced. Something that I carried with shame for so long is now something I can embrace. My mental health has never been better. I am healthier and happier than I’ve ever been. And I feel closer to God than I have in years. This acceptance I have found from Christians has been life-changing for myself and my faith.

I tell you all this because I care about the Samford students who are like me. Non-affirming theology kills people every day. I wish I had had a safe space to process my sexuality at Samford. I wish someone had seen that as not a sin. There’s plenty of messaging from churches and parents and society that being gay is wrong. People need a space where they can consider if it’s not.

I came out to some of my Christian students at my Christian university, and some of them told me they had been questioning their sexuality too. I had a conversation with one who had never mentioned this to anyone. I told her some of the thought processes I went through in seeing how I believe Jesus would include and love the LGBTQ+ community. I didn’t try to convince her to change her theology or abandon everything she’s learned- I just wanted her to see there is another way to think about things that could potentially fit with her faith. And I believe that is something for her to wrestle through herself.

I am trying to be who I needed when I was younger. It could have saved me years of struggle to have someone love me for who I am and help me consider how I may be able to be included in the church with the attractions I have. If the ultimate goal is students loving God and loving others within the saving grace of Jesus, why focus on non-essential details of the Gospel that have been fiercely debated for centuries, especially if those details exclude and harm others? At least give students the option to consider it for themselves. It will do more harm than good for the dozens, if not hundreds, of LGBTQ+ students you have there. In knowing how many of my peers have come out since leaving Samford, I am sure there are more than you realize.

I urge you to reconsider the exclusion of the campus ministries with affirming theologies, look at the recommendations of the task force that met a couple years ago, and consider how sexuality is a non-essential aspect of the Gospel- for the lives of your students at the university I have loved.

Best,
Katy F.
Class of 2014