"We don't have to debate about whether or not you think it is okay for gay couples to marry...you can just simply support them and not impede their pathway to welcoming ministries."

Dear Dr. Taylor and Dr. Holloway,

This is a painful email to write and I was hoping to just be able to let this go and move forward. But after observing the situation, it is clear that things are not resolving or feeling any better for many of us.

I used to work at Samford and took a lot of pride in raising money for programs like the Micah Fellows and the Debate Team. My favorite initiative was the Big Give and it was such an honor to work with Samford alumni and engage them in ways they could give back to the university they loved. Through the Big Give, we received a lot of support for the Daniel House and I absolutely loved getting to know alumni who spent time at such a special place. I no longer work at Samford but my mother is an involved volunteer with the Legacy League (and a graduate of an Episcopal ministry program) and I continue to cheer on the Big Give and donate.

The decision to revisit your campus ministry policies and no longer allow Presbyterian and Episcopalian student ministries to participate isn't disappointing, it's devastating. Why now? What changed? As an Episcopalian, I'm sad but as a human who cares deeply for how your LGBTQ students and alumni feel, I'm flabbergasted. No one is asking you to host marriage ceremonies, they are just wanting to feel some compassion and affirmation from denominations that support them. Maybe to you it feels like a simple decision that just hones your Biblical beliefs on campus but the message you are sending is detrimental. It is telling your LGBTQ students that you'll tolerate them but you certainly won't let them have easy access to worship opportunities in spaces that truly accept them and don't want to change them. If that isn't what you intend, your messaging thus far hasn't disputed it. From the emails, lack of conversation with alumni and friends, and the recent video - it all sounds like this isn't important. That there is some sort of debate that we can have but that human hearts aren't on the line. That some unspoken Biblical orthodoxy is more important than providing students with multiple pathways to a relationship with Jesus.

Why would opportunities for students to be in church, even if it isn't your church, be a bad thing? There are just so many questions and at the end of the day, we don't have to debate about whether or not you think it is okay for gay couples to marry. You don't even have to get into that debate; you can just simply support them and not impede their pathway to welcoming ministries. It does seem like an impediment when you once allowed it and now, do not. Again, I think this goes back to a messaging issue because I just can't believe anyone would want to be this hurtful. I reread your words and still just can’t fathom it.

I do not expect this to change your mind, but I have faith that maybe one day your hearts will change. A good friend who has known since he was a child that he was gay shared his story with me and told me about how often he thought about ending his life. I observed how ashamed his family was of him, I saw him get shunned from his church, I saw how this lack of support made him feel like a failure. Why would he choose this? My dear friend Jamie who passed away a few years ago experienced similar things when she came out to her family. It's devastating to let your family down and to be ostracized, and it is not a choice. They are children of God and He is seen in them, made to be just who they are. I think we could sit and debate Biblical text but what I don't think is up for debate is how to see the beauty in God's work in these individuals. My friends did not deserve to be turned away and hurt over something they didn't choose. Sometimes I wonder if this is a test for all of us -- will we love without judgment or assert what we think is right on others? I guess we are all finding that out.

I remember feeling certain the university was moving in the direction of more acceptance when Dr. Westmoreland spoke of LGBTQ students and said, “we have to do better.” He also said if they were turned away from the church, where could they go. Is this better? Is this welcoming? Maybe ask the hundreds of people devastated by these recent actions.

I don't think you'll miss my $50 a year but there is no sense in keeping me on your contact lists as I will be donating to the Human Rights Campaign instead. I want to directly help LGBTQIA+ youth get the support they need. I will happily support Samford again when there has been change. But for now, your decision is made and you don't need me as a part of that so please take me off your publication and solicitation lists. I appreciate your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Karen Templeton